turtles drunk on martinis

Ok, so it’s super cool sometimes to know someone in a band, and to have that person be somewhat famous and to also have that person be touring with another famous person and… well, whenever these two famous people come near my stomping grounds, a “I’m with the band” ticket is always waiting for me backstage, where all the drama (and drugs) happen. 

George Clinton is that famous person who is friends with my friend who is also super famous. Technically, I’m not a groupie. I’m not that chick. However, I’ve been around the band enough now that they recognize me and they’re cool, but only because I stick Iike glue to my friend and don’t get into their personal business. So last night, at the Ram’s Head in downtown Baltimore, I was on stage while George and his crew did their thang. And Sir Nose was dancing and I had to get a shot of him to share with you guys… because boy does he have a good body and boy! does he know how to move it, move it!

George (yeah, we’re on first name basis. how you’d like them apples?) likes to do four hour shows. Which is cool and all but it’s a long ass time to be back stage with some crazy assed people. So my friend and I would escape to my car, just to hide from all the insanity. Truly, hanging out the the funkadelic crew is like swallowing the red pill by accident. 

So I’m going to write off March and April as being pretty much the broke-est I’ve ever been! Those were some pretty awful months. So when I did my taxes and damn near fainted with how much I now owe the wonderful state of Maryland, I simply had no more tears to shed. It was just one more sucky thing that has happened to me this year.

So last night, after FREE VODKA at this bar called Lotus, where the bouncers were flirts and super cute, I get in my car to drive home when my friend screams “Dude! Your car is on fire!!” And sure enough, enough smoke was escaping from the hood, right in front of my eyes, and why I did not notice that shit before she screamed out, I will never know. Oh yeah, I was pretty drunk.

So we managed to get home, making several pit stops along the way to let the car cool down. I crawl into bed not even letting the fact that three weeks ago, I payed over half my rent to fix my car! And now this new shit??

This morning, I went to my mailbox expecting to just receive bills and bills and mo bills. Instead, there was an envelope from the U.S. Treasury. When I opened it, inside was a check made out to me! A very nice niiiiceee sum of money! I couldn’t believe it. I actually started to laugh - that hysterical kind of laugh where you’re not quite sure if you’re slowly going crazy or if, in fact, you’re already there and hey! welcome!

OK, so I should save a portion of that money. That is the wise thing to do since my car likes to throw shit like starting fires every few weeks and it would be nice to have some cash on hand to deal with it. And the rest…. bills, bills, bills. Bills that would have waited a month or so to get paid but now can be paid off. 

And now, my butt is off to the mechanic. He and I are becoming fast friends with the rapid frequency he sees me and my car these days. Geesh!

Since I work from home these days, I have come to realize that I wield absolutely no self-control. My “commute” consists of me moving from my desk to the fridge to the desk to the fridge, in one continuous loop that I have even made my kitten dizzy. My lack of self control is abated some by the fact that I don’t have Cable, otherwise my ass would never budge from the bed. Seriously. 

But my being home all day long means that I have come to know the habits of my beloved kitten, Blue. Early mornings are play time, meaning she likes to snack on my ankles. I howl and scream all morning long, sshing her away from breakables and other objects she enjoys knocking off from high places. In the afternoons, she naps. And because she torments me all night long by pouncing on my head or nibbling on any body part I foolishly let escape from the folds of my duvet, I, too, now torment her when she naps, because misery likes misery, as they say. 

Last night, I shut my bedroom door against her, wanting the rare luxury of sleeping alone! When I walked into my living room area this morning, I was met with paper everywhere, books on the floor, the place looked a hot mess. And all because I refused Her Highness access to my bedroom last night. But you know what? I’ve been having these vivid dreams lately. They consist of me packing Blue up in the car and driving to some remote area and throwing her out the car and 

then speeding away with a crazy laugh!! Only to get home and find her waiting for me at the door. I then burst into tears and WAKE UP!

Don’t let the cuteness of the picture fool you. That cat is an ankle-snacking, leg scratching, paper eating terror, who doesn’t respect my privacy. Enough, I say!

I could join those that complain about our nation’s capital but I won’t. Not that I don’t have anything to complain about (fix those damn potholes already!!!), but I think it’s high time I stop complaining about things because no one truly likes complainers. So… here goes:

Thanks for the wake-up calls, Takoma trash collectors

And though my initial reaction is to groan when a Metro escalator is broken, my legs appreciate the exercise

And speaking of Metro, thanks for showing up everyday regardless. 

And now that my internet connection at home is no more, thanks for the many coffee shops ready to welcome me with a chai latte or better yet, a glass of wine!

Thanks to the old man who sat next to me at one such coffee shop and chatted about his life’s work in sciences. When I told him I had an interview in a few minutes, he leaned in and asked me to tell him all about the job I was applying for; a stranger turned into a dear friend in seconds. 

Thanks for the late nights, the early mornings, strong coffee, and parking meters. 

I must admit, I live in one of the greatest cities in the world and the fact that I now call the Library of Congress my library is pretty swell.

So until tomorrow when I’ll start bitching again, I want to give DC a big hug!

I’m so lucky to have awesome friends. Friends who slave away an entire month creating something special for me. I have a friend who owns a bookbinding company she operates out of her home. I asked her to create a journal for me, something pretty that would remind me of the tortoises that I adore.

I was like a little girl rushing to the post office to pick up the parcel she sent. And when I opened it and saw the journal, I could not stop goshing over how great it turned out. It’s pure wonder to behold, I tell you. And then she surprised me by throwing in a blue and white silk scarf “because I thought it would look great up against your skin” she tells me. The picture doesn’t do the two items justice but believe me, I am super happy today. Giddy, even.